I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
