we have officially lost it.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Your cock deserves a montage
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
