Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
