If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
