I wannas sexs uuuuu
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
