i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
