Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
