so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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