Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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