She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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