u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
