Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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