just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
