We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
