i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
