I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
