Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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