Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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