How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
