i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
