well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Randomize
