she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
