The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
