So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The struggles of a small town man whore
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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