We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
