i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
