mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
