Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
