Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
