Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
