new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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