dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
