Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
