Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
