It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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