I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
