"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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