Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
