I wish I could teleport
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
