I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
