oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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