sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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