No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
