I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
