be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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