I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
