An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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