whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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