brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Randomize
