is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
